November 29, 2010

It's All Nice, In Theory

Psychology class today went as follows:

"Ellis' Rational Behavior Therapy was to help patients rid themselves of maladaptive and irrational beliefs which led to negative behavior. By focusing on cognition, you can change behavior. His technique is founded on the idea that we have power over our own emotions, destiny, and experiences. We choose to be depressed, angry, frustrated, etc. Ultimately we are in control."

Well that's true, but ridiculously idealistic and it's unpractical to think you can completely change that in people. Guess that's why this guy is a mechanistic psychologist.

"One of the core irrational belief's that people have according to Ellis is what he calls 'demands'. Demands are when we believe that the world ought to be different than how it is.

And.... that makes Ellis' theory (according to Ellis' theory) irrational: The theory places the demand that we should be able to control our actions, experiences, and emotions, when in fact it's a struggle for everyone since we're human. My head hurts, that was too circular. Why am I learning this?


November 22, 2010

November 22, 2010



Perfectionism is something that can never be done perfectly.





November 10, 2010

Dream (November 10)

My roommate from last year and I were setting up our room. But we were in a new room, oddly shaped with a old, many paned window that overlooked a city. I had a silver metal bed frame that I lofted, and a desk. The ceiling changed heights in the room and was a deep blue. We were trying to figure out how to best fit everything. The room had sunlight coming through the window, a soft yellow. There was a white wooden door. And the walls were a soft neutral yellowish.

November 7, 2010

Unplanned Weekend in PA

This weekend I was headed to an art conference with some students from my class and my professor. In Pennsylvania we passed a place called Reptile Land. I look up and laugh and say "hey, it's an accredited zoo!" and a few moments later I'm being jolted forward and watching us move away from the car in front of us as it moves forward into a pick up truck. Next thing I know we're pulled over just past Reptile Land. The car's hood is crumpled and we can see the engine, the headlights are gone, the car leaking something, and it's smoking.

Thankfully everyone was fine, we weren't going fast enough for the airbags to be deployed. However I was now stuck in the middle of Pennsylvania without a ride to the conference or back to school. We waited for the state trooper for a while and the drizzle stopped. As we placed calls to people with access to the internet, car rental places, and bus companies, a full huge rainbow appeared.

Funnier yet though was that we were in front of this sign:

We are informed that there are two places to catch a bus back to school. Both are 20 minutes away, so we ask the tow truck driver where he is heading and go with him. We get to the garage and find out there is no bus station, just a "stop". We call the bus company and find out that the bus doesn't leave until the next day at 1PM. the tow truck driver's wife offered us a ride into town to a nearby hotel. I call and find out there are rooms and we drive in. At midnight that night as I'm trying to fall asleep, the door opens...the door to the room next door, however I can hear it as if it were my door. I hear two men speak as if they are in the room. I can hear them unzip their luggage and then complain about having to share a bed.

Finally the next day comes and I check out of the hotel and walk downtown to buy a bus ticket. The only place that sells them: the local town tavern, which of course is not open at 10AM on a Saturday. So I go to the college's Barn's & Noble, where I am greeted by a person wearing a huge Peter Rabbit suit. I grab lunch at a local deli, which is filled with stereotypical sorority girls and jocks all still hungover from a night out. The man in front of me appears homeless and starts to chat me up, though I am not able to comprehend a word he is saying.

The bus pulls up to the side of the main street where I was told to wait. There was no bus stop, sign, or shelter. I get on and we drive what would be an hour and half by car in 2 and a half. When we get to where I have to switch stops an Amish family gets on the bus.

The gentlemen from my last bus gets on and sits right behind me. I soon find out he's an ex-convict. Awesome. Where am I from? Oh, you know, the Massachusetts area (lie). Do I live on campus? Oh, in the general area, it's complicated (lie). This continues for pieces of the almost four hour ride, which would have taken 2 hours tops by car. Meanwhile the bus driver is up front spouting conspiracy theories to the women in the first seat. Sodium florid? They put that in the water to make us dull so they can take over; like the British did in China. And the sex trade, that's run by high ranking government officials. The underwear bomber was really a government plant to get us to agree with them putting full body scanners in airports; you know, they cause radiation, right? The government is trying to kill us slowly! He had 3, almost 4 hours worth of these theories to talk and talk and talk about.

When I arrived back on campus, I was more grateful for sleep than I've been for a while. And very happy that daylight savings time gave me an extra hour of it. And that as shit filled as this weekend was, it makes for an unreal and hilarious story.

November 5, 2010

No Hair!

Just the other day I donated a foot of hair and shaved my head. A group on campus was doing a fundraiser, so I decided it was time to do one of those crazy things I've always thought about doing. All that crazy healthy hair I had is now going to be given to someone who needs it more than I do. I still can't believe I did it, but I love my new fuzzy head!

November 2, 2010

After the Edge

We will walk
hand in hand
down the road,
falling off the edge that isn't clear
we will know
what is there.

Dear dizziness will drown us down,
down to where no one knows.
When we walk back
they'll run and talk

cause we went to where no one has.
We went to where they fear.
And when they ask
we will smile wide
And turn our backs,
leaving questions.

We faced the fear
and came back.
So what is there to fear?