Depression

Sometimes I wonder if I'm slightly bipolar. The ups and downs of my moods are strange to me. I can't always make sense of them. Yet many, many, many of them follow periods of stress either academic or social. I'm trying to do homework right now, on a tight deadline, but I just can't concentrate and instead of getting anxious like I use to, I'm beginning a draft of this, reading a chapter of something else, staring out the window...

It doesn't help that the latest section of my abnormal psychology class was on mood disorders.

Dream (February 24)

I'm at my grandfather's house, getting ready to graduate from high school. I'm wearing white because we had to for graduation. I'm searching for shoes I think, and my grandfather, father, mother, sister, and uncle are there. Suddenly my film professor and students are in the house, but the house has changed. We find out there is a bomb under the house. Another pressure sensitive one. We leave but then go back in to get the food for graduation. But I'm the only one packing it up and bringing it out to the back porch. I get frustrated with my need to always do the right thing, correctly, and alone. I hate feeling like I'm a type-A bitch with a stick up her ass. Someone comes around the corner of the house and looks at a movie poster display that's there. I inform them that there will not be a movie that day. I feel like an ass. This all correlates to real life more than I'd like to admit.

Dream (February 9)

I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around myself as I got out of the shower. Suddenly I heard an electronic beeping sound. I looked at the towel and saw a black box machine like thing with red buttons or lights. Immediately, as always in dreams I knew what it was: a bomb. And for some reason, I had to keep it on me. In the dream I explained it had a pressure trigger, but this makes no sense in the real world. So I walked around with it on me. I contacted a few people to let them know what was going on. Somehow I found out they (whoever they were) were tracking me to make sure I was in a public space so they could pull the trigger. But they weren't able to track me when I walked back to my dorm, so they had no idea where I was. I went the day saying bye to people, just in case, waiting for an alarm. For some reason I knew it wasn't going to go off till night. I was in my dorm building, when night began to fall, an alarm went off like an air raid siren, and I knew it was time for me to go. So I hurried outside, where I saw my RA from last year with someone else, I yelled to her and asked her if I could borrow her car so I could get to the middle of the park quickly. I wanted to make sure I was far away from people. She tossed the keys. I was calm throughout the dream. I woke up a bit wound up though.