December 16, 2011

Joining the Military

I'm not poor, I'm not a lesbian, I'm not from a military family, and I'm not unsure what I want to do with my future. It's not that I can't go to college, because I'm in already and doing well. What's my motivation then? Why would I do such a thing? Unlike almost every other career choice, for a woman to say that she wants to join the military, correction, for a female college graduate to say that she wants to join...

I receive a lot of questioning, I'm quite sure it's more than if I were a guy. It doesn't satisfy to answer the way a typical young man would (and a women certainly can't say she like guns, war, the military, or the likes). The fact of the matter is, it's complicated why I want to join and simple at the same time. But mostly it's just difficult to put into words, especially under scrutiny.

The issue isn't being female though. The issue is finishing the schooling I need to become a psychologist. Clinical graduate school is harder to get into than medical school. And when do I join? If I want to be a military psychologist, why not get the experience before? Should I do the reserve or not? Army or Air Force? What do I go into within the military? How many years will I be in for? Will I get called for deployment, which is fine, but what if it screws up my degree? What am I doing? My family will freak to an extent, and my close friends will not understand. I want a family and kids. When does that factor in? Does it? Will I even find anyone? Should I base decisions on a future that might never happen? Why am I so confused? I want to join. I like having options. Joining doesn't mean I don't get those options. It just means I face a world, that once again, just doesn't understand me. So be it.