I feel like all the energy and emotion has been zapped out of me when I wasn't looking. Like it's an effort to get myself to stand. I feel isolated from my friends. I don't want to call them. I don't want to see them in person. I do but I don't. I want to curl up and sleep. Or at least do something to lift my mood. It came out of the blue, and swamped me suddenly. At points it lifts a little or I muster up energy to do what needs to be done. But in general I'm just pretending, a shell, trying to feel things as fully as I usually do. Trying to be as real as I feel I should be. My back aches. My mind is heavy and full but empty of anything important. I dread work and the question of how am I possibly going to get this all done? And I as I write that last sentence I smile and feel a little better. It will be fine, and this mood cannot last forever, and it doesn't last very long since I started the meds. Happy thoughts.
