Just a Dreamer

I have a story idea, inspired by various things as of late. I usually have many stories that float about in my head before I go to sleep. I'll play them out as if I'm the main character and usually fall asleep still imagining. I've been doing this since I was little. I'd insert myself in a movie I'd watched, a book I'd read, or a tv show I'd seen. I'd change the plot, or work myself in somehow. Never was I a character I'd already seen. This all still holds true to this day. Sometimes I get on kicks where I have the same story line going for almost weeks at a time. I'm excited not for the sleep, but for the imaging time before I fall asleep. I rarely if ever dream of the story line.

This idea, for whatever reason, I'm writing down. Because I'll be driving and thinking about it. I play it out in my head while I'm in the shower and before falling asleep. I'm torn between believing this particular story is dieing to get out on paper or that I'm dieing to write something more than just the usual paragraph or two of creative writing I usually manage to jot down.
I'm terribly embarrassed about the whole thing. I feel like it's too twilight-like, too chick flick, too love story, too this, too that, too everything. I was inspired by the show Chicago Code and my trip to Boston last week among many other things.

There are no vampires, witchcraft, or monsters. It's the story of a college student who was raised in an Irish Catholic family with ties to the mob in Boston. It's the story of the undercover cop who infiltrated the mob. It's their friendship that develops throughout a difficult year for both of them. The pessimist in me thinks it's all shit, that I'm a dreamer, that I won't make it past twenty pages. The optimist thinks at the very least I could finish someday, that I could enjoy the process, and perhaps get it published locally.

Crush

Oh, it's been awhile since I've had a crush like this. I'm absolutely enamored. He sat behind my first semester in college in a lecture, and then I'd run into him every now and then on campus, at my work, and in a class or two. We'd say hi, occasionally stop and chat for a second, but not until this semester did I have feelings. We talked longer when we ran into each other, and I sensed something there. He causally mentioned he didn't have my number the other day, and we agreed to hang out before finals. He texted me wondering if I'd like to grab lunch and go for a walk in the park.

Now to any girl this screams "DATE". But to a few of the guys I talked to, it didn't. And I can't help but think it wasn't, that he was only interested in getting to know me as a friend? I saw him again the other night, we hung out in this dorm. We talked for a solid 2 hours and then watched the newest episode of Glee. (Oh yea, that's right, he watches Glee. Also his style is semi-Jonny-Depp-ish. He wears some jewelry and pulls it off well and use to have long hair. He dresses nicely, but not preppy or as if he bought it all at the mall. He's taken psych and philosophy courses, and wants to go to med school. He sings, and likes good music. He's chill and was raised Catholic but more or less does his own thing when it comes to religion. He's sweet and interesting, and hilarious. UM! Keeper? I think so.) Then his friends came in (I know one of them well), and we hung out. I caught him looking at me throughout all of us hanging out. Perhaps he likes me? Perhaps not? So many cues, so many ambiguous signals and signs, so much doubt in my mind.

When I left several hours later, I made sure to mention that we should keep in touch while I was abroad, and then initiated a hug. Who knows? *Sigh*

Osama: Why I'm Disgusted

Facebook boomed. News stations blared. People set off fireworks.

I don't care. In fact, I find it all rather sickening. Why are we celebrating? What are we celebrating? Yes, a horrible person who did horrible things is dead. It is a good thing that he cannot harm anyone else, or spread his philosophy of hate. Yes, it is symbolic, symbolic that we can take down those that cause evil in the world, that kill the innocent. I'm relieved, but I do not rejoice. The line between justice and vengeance is a thin one, and in this case very much crossed depending on the emotions people display.

‎"Faced with the death of a man, a Christian never rejoices, but reflects on the serious responsibility of everyone before God and man, and hopes and pledges that every event is not an opportunity for a further growth of hatred, but of peace.” -The Vatican's Statement on Bin Laden's death

On a slight side note: props to Obama: "We must also reaffirm that United states is not and will never be at war against Islam. Bin Laden was not a Muslim leader, in fact, he slaughtered many Muslims," Obama said. (Al Jeezerah English)