I'm both sick of and in love with this city. After only a week. I suppose it's because I'm trying to cram so much in while I'm here. Love, such a powerful thing, and such a struggle for me some days. I hate and love my depression, I think most people that have it would understand the meaning of this statement. Sometimes it just sucks the good out of everything, to the point that you can completely forget there is such a thing as "good". Yet, it's just as possible, that five seconds after a bout of this, you to notice something. Perhaps something little, perhaps something overlooked. That little thing, no matter how small, can bring the greatest joy, hope, faith, and love flooding back. It's such a strange thing, and I wonder if it's not the depression but just me.
The people here on the program with me are overall nice. But I really detest some of them. Well not them, but the persona they give off. I feel like I'm back in high school when most of us are 20 and 21. A few of the guys are total "bros" and thus picture well dressed frat boys who can put on a reasonable front but just want to shoot the breeze and work at their father's law firm. A few of the girls are too into having the most expensive and popular clothes. I couldn't careless if you've got a $300 purse; if it's ugly and not useful there's no point. Paris is pretty fashionable so I can accept some of this, I myself have been dressing up more than I normally do. Sigh, still more a fraternity/sorority crowd for the most part. Though a few us, nerdier ones I suppose, are getting along pretty well. Still, we all don't know each other very well and have different personalities...so at times the stress gets to me.
